Some hard questions about the judges...

Has Simon always been so mean?

I get it. These people are total jokers. Although, he certainly did perk up with the Shakira look-alike. Simon likes the sexy ladies I guess.

Has Paula always been so nutso?

Look deep into her eyes next time she's on the screen... something off, or is it just me? Just saying yes or no seems to take a Herculean effort.

Yes, these are basic questions, I know. But again, this IS my first time, so cut me some slack.

A final hard question -- who's your favorite judge?

My vote (obviously) goes to Paula Abdul. She's no 'Cold Hearted' snake, although that is her jam. She keeps it real for me. And you never know what's coming next!